The Warlizard Chronicles: Adventures with Vodka, Women, & War by Warlizard

Author:Warlizard
Language: eng
Format: mobi
Publisher: Warlizard Ink
Published: 2011-03-09T05:00:00+00:00

Bad Advice

I logged into Reddit one day to see this post:

“DAE (Does Anyone Else) feel like they are just "killing time" every single day?

Like you are killing time, waiting for something to happen, but don't know what that something is and it ends up just being going to sleep?”

I hate this attitude and this was my response:

No. Every single fucking day I wake up like a goddam bull, ready to charge out and destroy everything in my path. Maybe I’ll start a new business, maybe I’ll buy a house, maybe I’ll get in my car and drive to Texas, I don’t fucking know, but I’m going to do something that makes me happy. Sure, I used to be sad and pathetic like you, not sure what I wanted to do with my life, until I realized, there is no “single thing”.

I want everything. I want thick juicy steaks still dripping blood, I want wide-open blue skies, endless summer, ice cold glacier water out of the skull of my enemy. I want to fuck until I scream, drive up the face of a cliff, ride horses in France, blow 10 grand on peanut butter or maybe just buy the biggest suite in the place and sit around ordering pay-per-view. It’s your goddam life you spineless fuck, no one is going to live it for you.

You better wake the fuck up now, or you’re going to turn around, look at your Chrysler Minivan, your mortgage, your pot-belly and your thinning hair and wonder with crushing regret where it all went, how you got here, and what the fuck do you do now? Goddam, I want to slap you and wake you the fuck up. You want to know what to do? LEAVE THE FUCKING HOUSE and go explore. Fuck a midget. Create a stand-up routine and do open mike night. Yeah, you aren’t funny. Get over it. Learn something new. Go out and live.

Then again, there is something to be said for a nice nap.

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